Change: The Constant Variable
It’s said that change is the only thing constant in life. Often things are out of our control and so when I can’t change something (at all or in the near-future), I try to change my reaction to it or how I interact with it.
Scenario One
You feel undervalued and overlooked at your job, especially for the money you’re paid.
Outside your control:
If you can’t just up and quit right away (hello, capitalism).
Mindset shift:
Try to see it as a stepping stone to your next phase. Make as many contacts as possible so when you leave, you have a network. Remember that your value as a person is not equatable to how a corporation sees your productivity.
Scenario Two
You love the community-based work that you do but the systems are so broken and trying to create that long-term impact has worn you down.
Outside your control:
Although the action of individuals can cumulate to create impact over time, YOU can’t single-handedly change social systems, laws, or institutions.
Mindset shift:
Explore other social change roles you can play that balance you contributing with you not sacrificing yourself. Remember that you don’t have to bear the burden alone - relieve yourself of the Self-Imposed Hero Responsibility by leaning into your support system for collective action.
Scenario Three
A person you know and love just can’t, or won’t, care for you in the ways that you need.
Outside your control:
You can’t change how that person behaves or force them to become something else.
Mindset shift:
Accept that people come into, and leave, your life for different reasons and seasons. Enjoy and appreciate what was and free yourself of trying to force the past into the future.
Maybe there’s something to the words I often saw framed and flowery in the bathrooms of religious old ladies so often:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
The origin of the serenity prayer (yes, I’m a research nerd)
While one half of my creative, pie-in-the-sky brain is impulsive and daydreams, the other half is systems and processes with analytic (over)thought and planning to perfection. That latter half, the self-proclaimed control-freak half, has grappled often with change.
Change in society, in my social circles, in my own perspective. Throughout the curve-balls of life, something that has gotten better within myself over time is how I react, and adapt, to change. Maybe this is that wisdom I read so much about.
This is me both exploring AND holding myself accountable as part of a 7-day writing challenge by Cole Schafer. He coughs up a prompt and suggests writing for 45 minutes, editing for 10, then posting. So, here we are… Welcome to my wacky week!
I usually hang out at my “SBLTN Lab Notes” newsletter. Feel free to stop by for all things accessibility, diversity & inclusion, and art & design.